Danielle stripped off her clothing and threw them all into the corner. Fuming mad, she slammed open the shower door. A crack appeared around the handle, not shattered but tainted glass.
“Damn,” she said. “Damn. Damn. Damn!”
Turning the hot water on high, the bathroom steamed up fast. It scalded her the second she stepped into it, but the burning only mixed with the pain she was feeling inside. Her skin turned lobster red as she scrubbed herself further raw, soap and sponge, heat and the pounding of the water.
She turned it off, and stood there, holding onto the wall, bent over so her long hair hid her. Mentally, she felt so numb that she could not even associate all that was going on with the damage she had inflicted upon herself. She was panting, body clenching in waves of spasms. Danielle’s legs would no longer support; she crumbled onto the tile floor and laid there.
An hour passes, and the ambulance went screaming through the streets. The EMT was administrating saline to her, keeping her body damp and cool, but Danielle was burning up. Horrendous pain from the water, horrendous pain inside. Crying happened, and she just let it flow. The EMT tried to sooth her, knowing only of the damage done to her body.
Later…more saline and ointments, compresses and more. Danielle drifted in and out, not knowing all of the administrations fully, only knowing something was constantly going on. Drugged, she slides and flies, dull but throbbing, and time has no meaning. Nothing has any meaning, and Danielle doesn’t even know her own name for a while. It floated away.
The next morning, and Will is there, holding onto a part of her arm that is not burnt. He tells her she’ll be all right. It’s bad, but she’ll be all right. He found her in the shower stall unconscious. Will asks “Why? Why did you do this? Why?” over and over, but she has no voice to tell him.
How could she tell him she hated him? About the affair she had that her lover just ended? About knowing of Will’s own affair? About never believing he loved her, she loved him, that they had promised to cherish each other forever and it was all a lie?
About not caring about anything, nothing at all?
The pain continued, in it’s dull throbbing way.
You have such a great way with words. awarding you with the versatile blogger award. see post for info http://stuartnager.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much. I appreciate this.
Vey intense. Chapter Two?
Hi Thom….just saw this. Yeah, I felt that her dream/nightmare from yesterday’s post needed some more. Hence…
Raw physical and emotional pain. Not uplifting, but very nicely written Stu!
thank you muriel. Not meant to be uplifting, but I felt the picture/took things to a place that I’ve witnessed.
It clubs a bit at the end but all and all pretty damn decent.
Not sure 100% what “clubs a bit at the end” means, unless you felt it’s heavy handed. Thanks for the “all in all”.
You get me then, also another thing I can say is you’re pretty good at making pain a vicarious experience.
Could I have been more subtle? Sure. Did I sit here and fixate on how to end this? Yes, big time. I needed to just plainly state what it was, as I left no clue whatsoever to what drove her to this. So…i’m ok with it all. It’s resonated with a lot, good or bad, so in the end, clubbing works.
Agree with Elise, terrific title and very absorbing, if painful, reading. The things we do which destroy us…
Not always fun and games. I am glad you “enjoyed” it…yeah, hard to say when it is full of pain. Thanks Li.
Wow, pain so deep in the mind and soul, the body can’t feel it and the mind doesn’t comprehend. Been there. You write like a dream.
Ey…as I’ve said above, I am sorry anyone feels like this at any time. Hope it’s just a bad memory and is expunged. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Wow! First, I love the title! There is so much in the title alone…this post really had by eyes and mind buzzing around in all the chaos of the pain.
I hope you never had to feel that pain, Elise. Thanks for sharing it.
Absolutely intense, Stu! I’ve felt that kind of pain before where physical pain blended in with emotional pain. So eloquently described!
I’m sorry you’ve felt that, or anyone has. Thanks Sam.
Very emotional. I was dying to know what was causing Danielle’s angst and I think if it had been longer I would have jumped ahead to find out! Glad I waited.
Glad you held off. I had to build up otherwise, why read further? Thanks Lailia
I love the way in which you’ve used the concept of pain – and highlighted the physical pain in an attempt to blot out the underlying emotional and psychological pain . Very effective .
Again, thanks a lot. I tried to balance the depth of what she was feeling with outside stimuli.
P.S. your story really matched the picture well. I can see the pain in the picture AND in your words.
Jill..thank you. I have had that pic in my saved file for a long time. It just felt right to attach to this story. And…believe me…it’s not my pain. I know writers put a lot of themselves into things, but this is not my pain. Far from it.
Many people can’t understand how people in deep emotional or psychological pain, use physical pain to try to wipe it out, or to gain some sense of control. You have captured that sooo well. The pain that is unbearable to one person , is exquisite to another. Too bad it didn’t really help Danielle.
Very powerful. Good writing.
Thank you Melinda
Pain does that to people and you have captured the raw, oozing wound on Danielle’s heart and shown it to us. Powerful writing…
Thank you Sulekha.
Danielle is crazy.
I’m not so sure. Crazy in pain. It’s induced people to do a lot of things.
Thank you. Have missed having you around here.
I know! So sorry about that, work has been really hectic lately. Which is good of course, but it limited my time to stroll around my lovely stalker blogs.
Never apologize for being busy. I’m happy for you. Just miss “talking” and seeing YOUR work.
Oh wow. This was really intense! I could picture what she had done to herself. The pain, my goodness the pain she must have felt. Excellent writing, Stuart!!!