Part 14: Passed Over
ZsaZsa (for those who forgot, it’s ZahZah..smh) found herself not really anywhere. She wasn’t feeling anything, and there was this complete sensation of unbeing…IF ZahZah was any type of deep thinker..um..thinker..well…she would have been puzzled, bemused, anxious, curious, afraid, mildly perturbed, and maybe a couple hundred other things. She wasn’t. As it was, she was royally miffed, irked, ticked off, po’d, unamused, and generally not a happy camper. Not too far from how she always felt, but…well, this was a bit different.
Floating, but not really floating; grounded, but not really grounded either. Her head began to hurt. “This is too much thinking going on, and no ‘splainin’ ” she thought out loud. Her voice fell flat, going nowhere, for nothing there was to see to bounce it off of. The words just floated around her, and it caused ZahZah to look around. If she could have felt any pain at this moment, her neck turning would have caused spasmodic unconsciousness. That is, to say, if she also had anything inside her noggin to really grasp onto as well.
“Cheers, Darling. Nice to see you again,” came a voice beside/behind/over/under/up/down/around her.
Narrowing her eyes to a wrinkle producing squint, ZsaZsa looked in all the directions previously mentioned and saw no one. Hissing out a “hisssss,” she yelled in her all too squeaky voice: “Who the..Where the..Who the F are you?!!!”
Right in front of her nose, about an even 6.6 inches from said shnozz, was a squirrel. One very dead looking, tire tracked smashed squirrel. “I..I killed you!” she whispered quite loudly.
“Yes, you did. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I was putting you out of your pain.” she whined.
“Um..who put me in that pain in the first place, hmm?”
“It was an..accident. I sw..” she was cut off.
“Zsa, I was crossing the road. Saw you coming, started to get out of the way and YOU AIMED THE CAR at me. The last thing I saw before your car overcame me was the glint in your eyes, and you were laughing!”
“No, no..I..um..I had something in my eye..the sun..it was in my eye..and..”
“It was overcast the whole day. No beams of sunlight were happening.”
ZsaZsa said nothing. She was still not happy about being called Zsa, with the S. She looked at the road kill in front of her. An actual non-emotional thought came to her: “What are you? Squirrels don’t talk. Am I the big D?”
“Not yet. I’m George. Thanks for asking,” George the Squirrel said snidely. “I AM dead, thanks to you, and I’ve been dragged out of Nut Haven-yes, don’t look at me like that-to tell you you have a chance to redeem yourself, and live awhile longer. Totally up to you. Me? I could care less.”
“Why?” she asked in really..really..complete innocence.
George the Squirrel, gaping in buck toothed awe at such chutzpah, said: “Are you really THAT stupid?”
She just nodded her head, a couple of times. She heard that one often enough to hold onto it as her constant.
“Here is what is going to happen. You will wake up in a hospital room. Did you know that?”
ZsaZsa nodded her head back and forth instead of up and down.
“Ok..well, you are in one, in a bed, with a sheet over you and an Endotra…sigh..a tube taped into your mouth. Once you wake up, this is what you must do…” and George the Squirrel, one with his squirrelness now, told her the thing she must do to truly make amends, in a lot more small words and phrases so she’d understand. He had her repeat it back to her, and then revise and repeat again until she got it. That took a long, long time.
“OK..phew..you’re a nag. I got it!” she said.
“One last thing, ZsaZsa.”
“My cousins are outside the window to your hospital room. Tell them George forgives them for raiding his nut pile, and that they should watch out for you.”
“Talk to squirrels? I..oh..yeah..heh..ok.”
ZsaZsa closed her eyes (well, she thought she did that)…and went to wake her body up.
George the Squirrel was alone. “Can I come back now?” he asked, to nothing/no one in particular.
A very large mound of Macadamia nuts were instantly all around him.
“Oh..very nice. Very nice indeed!” he squeed, as he jumped into the middle of the pile and did his best Scrooge McDuck impersonation.