Sonnet: Unto Forever

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I will hold you, until flesh melts away

The brittle transcendence sears to our core

Nothing fleeting, what we grasp always stays

Apart, Alone, Disjointed, we abhor.

You hold me tight and I shall do the same

Embracing the tears, the laughter, the years

The fireworks we exhibit; we flame!

It’s all we can do to banish the fears.

But, what of those who tear us asunder?

Their incessant interference, so damned..

Shall we withstand the storms and the thunder

Or be torn apart, scattered and unmanned?

Go to the edge with me, always be mine

Comfort and love be ours, for all time.

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18 responses »

  1. You are really getting better and it seems that you enjoy doing sonnets. It’s more natural and flowing than the first.

    I also began enjoying reading it ;)….

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    • Thanks Melissa. Yes, I didn’t struggle with this one like I did the first one. So..we’ll see. I’m not too keen on my third, and I don’t think I’m going to worry about iambic at all right now. That’s for later.

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    • Thank you Maureen. A sonnet has this going for it:
      fourteen lines made up of three quatrains and one duet. There are a variety of rhyme schemes that go along with it, but I’ve been using classic Shakespearean style:
      ABAB
      CDCD
      EFEF
      GG

      The ninth line usually begins the “But” change for that quatrain.

      Hope this helps. You can find the Sonnets for Dummies online (which is where I started from).

      Like

    • Well Li, is it form over function? I could care less about being “correct” (I think you know that about me), but if the emotions move that’s the point. I’m not that deep at times. Usually my expression is on the upper levels.

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  2. A provacative, adult version of a love sonnet. Far from young, immature love, this describes love that withstands the battles of a lifetime. I like it.

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  3. A great poem for your stories, and you’re getting better IMHO at the form, although it’s not iambic. If you made it iambic, it may be stronger, for ex. the 6th line could read ‘Embrace the tears, the laughter, all the years’ ..what do you think? However, loved it! Nice to see you tackle poetry, especially the sonnet, which to me is the hardest form to crack! 🙂

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    • Hi Louise, yeah, I did not try either on in Iambic, as I was more concerned with following the 14 lines, three four line quatrains + the two, and making sure each line had ten syllables.

      Iambic scares me, even as an actor/director…so that means I HAVE to give it a go. Thanks.

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      • I too blew it on the Iambic. You get so caught up trying to make sure it’s 10 syllables and 4 quatrains + 2, you just don’t hear the meter. At least for me I didn’t hear it after so many hours I couldn’t have heard a jet plane in my living room. LOL I will try again later I am still re-cooperating from the first one.

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  4. Nice, I like this a lot. I also love this background you’re using, it’s perfect for your stories. I am so elated to see you write another sonnet, which makes me have to write another after I do my guest posts. *Standing ovation*

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    • Jen..sit, sit. Yeah, now I have the need for…man, I just wanted to write Speed because I really would like to drive fast.

      Due to my work right now on Shakespeare’s play, I’m of the mind/mood to write as many sonnets as he did, and put that out as an eBook. Let’ see where/if I go.

      Up and down, Up and down…I shall lead them Up and down

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