Sonnet: O, Controlling

Standard

This is not the feeling I want to live

You’re telling me what you want me to be

Deep inside I know something has to give

Because I know it’s not me you do see.

Your expectations of me are unfair.

The petty jealousies only abuse;

I feel myself wither under your glare,

It seems you want to leave me so bemused.

But, casting you out, casting you away

Freeing myself of this knot of true pain

Cutting out the cruelty, freed the day,

Allows me to resurface, live again.

No puppet, I, to twist the knife in so

Instead take it, cut it, and so I go.

***************************

Question: is there an ebook of my Sonnets here? Is this something that should seek electronic ink? Or, so it seems. is this nothing but a dream, to take these words that I toss out, are nothing, just air, and less worth to shout? (somebody stop me!!!) 🙂

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11 responses »

  1. Good sonnet, Stuart…although I would still say work on the iambic, as it would ‘flow’ better. For example this line is good iambic pentameter ‘It seems you want to leave me so bemused.’ but the other lines are not..hence the ‘disjointed’ feel ~ smiles ~ But it still carries the story and the emotions very well…and I’m glad to see you’re still tackling the form, which is not the easiest! Bravo 🙂

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  2. Stu, this particular sonnet feels more disjointed, less flowing to me. Can’t put my finger on it…
    As far as a collection of your sonnets, I think it would be a great idea. I have enjoyed the majority of the ones you’ve written since I’ve been in here.

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    • Hi Robbi: I do. I just also like to get the “lay of the land”, and so I ask others THEIR opinions, instead of it being thrown back on me. I know you meant this in a real positive way, but…
      if I ask a question, it means I want to know what others think. I KNOW my answer already, overall, for the most part, kinda sorta.

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  3. RE: Question. Do you mean expand this sonnet? Or are you thinking of collecting your sonnets (and writing more) ?

    A lot of pain here in this sonnet. Also nothing quite like that taste of freedom when the strings are cut. 🙂

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    • Hi Li: collecting. Guess I wasn’t clear enough. I’ve been writing sonnets now, at least one a week. Is it worth the thought of collecting them, making an ebook of sonnets (one page the illustration; one page the poem).

      The only way to expand a sonnet is to write a new one, imo. It’s a pretty precise form of poetry. Yeah, I know, this coming from me, who balks at most rules.

      So?

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