Category Archives: anxiety

QUAIL, IN‽ : Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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QUAIL, IN‽

LIQUID TIME

Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.” ~ ~ Rose Kennedy

(ZV) withered

(Compositions + Substance) Bond

Broke

A rupture

Null unit { }

Z

V

Unjoined

The moment slipped out of their control





elsEwhen Z

anger anguish escalate/s/d to nth level extremes bringing a mind blankness overruled by the raging mixture of emotions Z had no awareness of the deaths the sundering caused in Z’s wake diseases transferred at rates unimaginable when all Z was brought to islands of quiet of peace of centering only to be jaunted into the swirls of destructive force to return to peace to seek out violence to destroy to quiet to all things detrimental all until Z challenged Khronos who slapped Z down rejected rejected snubbed erased until





elsEwhen V
V filtered through equations, all equations
Dispelling the soul freezing zemblanity
That washed over and through V
To return to equations, formulas,
Routine
While suffering this travesty of moments
That soothed, touched, cherished, ached
That itched, burned, chilled, ached
In a melody of high bliss
Counterbalanced by exquisite agony
An emotional/pragmatic overload
Where it all led to Khronos
Who had no sense of V
Draining V
until

JANICULUM CALLED TO THEM

PERIODS: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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PERIODS

LIQUID TIME

“We should always allow some time to elapse, for time discloses the truth.” ~ ~ Seneca

elsEwhens upon elsEwhens

Where is a place/time/moment for the deep discussions for (ZV)

Who don’t need to discuss anything

Who know everything

There are no secrets

There can be no alteration of the past or future of the now

Paths taken, thought, thought into actions, one action where all are

Experienced, tasted, seen, felt, heard, thought

Concomitantly

All periods of anguish runs alongside the history they

Have shared/share

you knew what she was doing to me

no no 
I  I 


yes


(ZV) hurtles through all lives
minute degrees
from start to end 
periods
past
the ones that may/will occur
oblivion

(ZV) is volatile as one
hatred or loved
explosive or calm
connected or pushed away
it is rarely and
Or rules (ZV)
a gamut of conditions, places, beings

(ZV) an inner transition
they smash their own atoms

there is a fissure
a departure
Z sets forth
V stumbles away
they are separate for eons
that took a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a...

it did not last long
it lasted an eternity

No, I didn’t forget to write yesterday. I did write.

What you read above was not what I originally wrote.

That’s gone.

I needed some space.

There’ll be Q posting a little later today

Hopefully back on track

So close to the end.

Never give up

Never surrender

ON – Ω – OFF: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge 2021

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ON – Ω – OFF

LIQUID TIME

“Time isn’t the main thing. It’s the only thing.” ~ ~ Miles Davis

TRANSITION

Karen will think/thinks/have thought OH SHIT!

Dr. Karen Capri envisages/verbalizes those words in the seven languages she speaks/thinks fluently.

Dr Capri has/had/will have the connective process to acknowledge what is before her endlessly

She is clinically absorbing an infinite vocabulary of experience across layers

That have layers intersecting mirrored rows of layers

Karen feels the emotional spectrum pour out of her

Her thinking process goes limp

(ZV) is floating there

Now Valentina

Then Zehara

Z

Karen has hated them

Individually

Especially together

If she could, Karen would clench her teeth, growling

They had gotten in her way way too many times

They are in her way now

Sensations go misty

She tries to fight the violation

Karen fails in every single way, across every possibility

Z knows/knew what was done to her

V now knows what was done to Z

Not even a blink: Dr. Capri is peeled away

TRANSITION

LAB

FLOAT POD CONNE

Interred 
The leaded pod
Door sealed into one piece
Lies a howling, a wail, a shriek
A keening lament
A fragile cord

One not heard, never to be
Plight of one's destiny
Or not

GRB 080916C burst
K is undone

The scream continues

Ω

Hmmm…an interesting Saturday post.

Oh, it is Sunday, you say

Hmmm…oh, yes,

My apologies

Monday Comes with a P

COMMENTS & FEEDBACK ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED

MOMENTS: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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MOMENTS

LIQUID TIME

I don’t think it is possible to contribute to the present moment in any meaningful way while being wholly engulfed by it.” Maria Popova

elsEwhen ∞

the Doomsday Clock at 100 seconds to midnight

TRANSITION

Z grasps the fringe of Khronos

“Zehara! Nooooooo…”

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” ~ ~ Albert Einstein

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED.

THANK YOU.

LINEAR TURMOIL: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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LINEAR TURMOIL

LIQUID TIME

“Every second is of infinite value.” ~ ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe





(ZV)

Nomad(s) of Infinitum.

Transient(s) of the spatial dimensions

They absorb the Tenth Dimension.

A single point.

All possibilities.

Branches of every potential universe.

(ZV) savors Apeiron

Yet the thought along the line:

Definite or Incomplete?

TRANSITION

Z will enter/has entered/never be in the Float Pod

Valentina refused/refuses/never enters the Lab

Z will take/is taking/remembers IVs of Modifal-70 from 200 mg to the final dosing of 1000 mg.

Five sessions in a row.

Z will undergo/undergoes/will have gone through rounds of gene and body modifications.

Valentina would/will/has regret(s) supervising the procedure(s).

Things lost control.

Things were never in control.

TRANSITION

volcanic eruptions stardust shattered dreams rising falling waves of despair love hatred denial no know known believe belief rituals symbolic pedestal entombed buried airless space time khronos forget forgot lost unclear foggy rain downpour floods levees dams bursting opening hallway echo repeat again again again

TRANSITION

The Lab

Float Pod Conn

Dr. Karen Capri has upper management up her ass. She has been bombarded with questions, demands, threats, quasi-pleading, and distaste. The lab’s repair costs. The dead technician. The disappearance of Subject Z and Dr. Marin. The “Why don’t you have an answer for us, Dr. Capri?” in its non-stop versions.

The last two nights Karen had fallen back on old ways through medical schooling. Adderall to Methamphetamine to blow. Non-stop stimulants, pushing herself to find the answers-any answer-that would relieve the attacks on her competency. There was no way she would allow them to take the yoke of blame on all of this, to become their scapegoat, their sacrificial lamb, the one to crucify.

Three days, high on uppers.

Something had to break.

The console screamed.

Karen raced to shut off the speakers, cursing the entire way from her office.

She did not make it to the Lab.

(ZV) was floating in her way.

KHRONOS, FIXED: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge 2019

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KHRONOS, FIXED

LIQUID TIME

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.” ~ ~ Henry David Thoreau

Z dragged V synchronously

through time as a variable

plowing through constants

converted t=d/s through m/t = rVa

Inseparability minus permanence

Undergoing

TRANSITION

Falling through fissures in space, witnessing

TRANSITION

Moments of conceptualizations, births, meetings, lovers, divides, becoming, endings, rebirths

TRANSITION

Motes in each other’s eyes

TRANSITION TRANSITION TRANSITION TRANSITION TRANSITION TRANSITION

Touching down with unerring precision

Experiencing

Changing

Expunging

Becoming

Overcoming

TRANSITION

To become love

To forge destruction

To navigate the river of time in its unremitting flow

To navigate the river of time

To navigate the river

To Navigate

Z sprawled to be TIME

V implored Z to STOP

(ZV) unfolded,

they touched the hem of Ti…

KHRONOS

took notice

“If time and reason are functions of each other, if we are creatures of time, then we had better know it, and try to make the best of it. To act responsibly.”

~ ~Ursula K. Le Guin

Comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Thank you.

TALES OF TALE SPINNING

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©Edward Gorey

TALES OF TALE SPINNING

OR

The A to Z Epics, More or Less

I started Tale Spinning at the beginning of 2011 as an offshoot of BornStoryteller. The latter went more towards non-fiction, rants, comparisons, and observations. Tale Spinning: an experiment in creative writing was the space I needed.
Since then, I’ve gone through periods of both non-stop writing and those “dry” spells, where nothing inspired or motivated me.

Joining the A to Z Blogging Challenge in April 2011 was one of the smartest moves I’ve ever made. I’ve pushed my own boundaries over the ten years, always looking for that “challenge.” Taking risks is stimulating. A lot of what I write is expressing what is burning within me at the moment.

Which is probably why I have trouble continuing plunging into the worlds and characters I’ve built over the years. The roller-coaster upheaval of my life during these last ten years have jaggedly flowed from euphoric to complete and utter numbness. This isn’t a pity party. Just stating the facts, ma’am.

Many bloggers/writers I have “met along the way have become family. What is “Family is Chosen” for $2,000, Alex?” (Man, I miss Alex Trebek. Right now, I am Team Levar Burton to become the new host. Reading Jeopardy Rainbow!). It’d take me the rest of the day (it’s early here) to point you all out, but my thanks and love are hereby sent. I even met the woman I love writing these blog posts during that first A to Z. Present tense, even though we are not together anymore.

Shit happens.

Anyways.

List Time. In case, you know, want to read past (and present) A to Z attempts. Each set starts with A on April 1st of that year. There might be a few preceding posts/teases over the years as I tried out the new voice I was shooting for.

A TO Z POSTS

Here’s something not A to Z that I’d love to get your feedback/comments. I keep getting drawn back to it on an emotional/mental level, but have not added a thing to it in quite a while. These were written during the summer of 2011.

The Kitsune-Mochi and Fox Saga

HALCYON POINT OF APOAPIS: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge 2021

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HALCYON POINT OF APOAPIS

Liquid Time

A to Z Blog Challenge 2021

“The moment is not properly an atom of time but an atom of eternity. It is the first reflection of eternity in time, its first attempt, as it were, at stopping time.” ~ ~Søren Kierkegaard

A total absence of light.

Whatever you have thought of as darkness is another lie. The bromides swirl with similes, throwing up black as night, a raven, a ministers cloak, the death card, a void, as pitch, black as the devil’s heart. You’ve lost paradise, unaware that the loss is profound.

Valentina Ceit Marin never gave any thought to the immensity of Eternity. She had been filled beyond any brim with awareness of the moment, framing the moments to come, shedding the moments of the past. Her no looking back attitude has brought her HERE.

Panic is begging to take control. The gut squeezes tight. Both temples are strafing her head, settling into the eyes, the base of the nasal passage. Valentina tried to raise her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. No hand came. Trying again, failure beat a drum. All jointed points of her skeleton were trigger locked. She took in that she could breath, that her eyes still rolled around, that the lids could go up or down.

It was then that she grew aware of what was not outside of her body. She wasn’t standing on any surface. No chains or puppet master strings held her up. She wasn’t floating, drifting around the void of space. Neither weightless nor sense of being. She was THERE.

Panic began to win. She had a mouth but it would not open to release the inside screams. Knowing this was not the her that she was and the her she cultivated, the shell, direct confrontation, the eagerness, the mean moments, the want of things, the dismissals. It was too much.

It was, too much.

It was…

A fracture of light.

Z was. Here. There.

A vast difference of space split them apart. The were opposites in depth.

Sweat filtered through Val’s skin. It beaded and dripped from her brow, coated her arms. Another aspect that was not Val.

She could not do anything.

“Hello, Valentina.”

FLEETING: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge April 2021

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FLEETING

Liquid Time

A to Z Blog Challenge

“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” ~ ~ Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Zero hour. Day. Era. Epoch. Eon. Aeon.

Z subdivides along a non-unilinear line. Stopping milliseconds to absorb, dispel, bask.

Those are the fragments where a thought filters through.

Z assembles the pieces. Z experiences every emotional spectrum idea, searching for

Love.

Z does not believe in love. Love, to Z, equates to Pain.

Pain is a constant. Love=Pain never has/is/will be love ≠ pain. It is exact. For Z, it is exact.

There are no approximates.

Any/every instance Love touches Z is followed by an infinite drop.

Z is lost.

Inside, Z is lost in gathering specifics. The pure, unwavering distillation of Z’s perception of Love.

The amassing is complete.

Z stretches the limits of time to compact and keep.

The next second arrives.

Without the pain association. Z is blocking out the aftermath, the thrown away aspect, the being left, unnoticed, unwanted.

Another point arrives. The whole splinters.

Z

TRANSISTION

NEW!!!! TALE SPINNING is also a Podcast!

I plan to start recording MY reading of my posts. Maybe by 5/12/2021. Knowing me, maybe 2022. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the narration.

You can find Tale Spinning on:

Spotify iTunes PocketCasts Breaker Google Podcasts RadioPodcast (last two awaiting verification).

Tale Spinning, the Podcast, will include past series, interviews, and more.

Please Support Tale Spinning.

You can subscribe on any of the above platforms.

Comments are always welcome.

ElSeWHEN: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge April 2021

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ELSeWHEN

Liquid Time

A to Z Blog Challenge

“Forever is composed of nows.” ~ Emily Dickinson 

Z thought as a black whole.

Z experienced everything at this/that moment without color.

Z tasted in shadows.

From the shadows came terror.

Z was a variant of a virulent tinnitus strain. Z was at a fixed point of -50 dB.

Z is the shriek that passes through the outer, middle, and inner structures, vibrating into an E Tube.

Traveling is a poor word of choice for Z in this state of being. Peripatetic is more to the point. Z travels from place to place, being to being, dimension by gradation of planes of existence

Z connects.

There are multitudes of levels of every emotional path that any can experience . Z knows.

There are a multitude of levels of pain. Hundreds of millions of points of view involving hundreds of millions of junctures, phases, factors, accents, factors. Z connects to All. All. All.

Z is at zero hour.

TRANSISTION

THE LAB

FLOAT POD con

“Stop fussing. Stop. I’m fine.”

Pushes hand away.

I said stop!”

Cursing, the medic walks out.

“Karen, there is nothing I can add to my statement.”

Debris is being removed. New equipment is being installed.

“Look, Val. Standard BS to make them happy. I know you. I know. Knew, Tyson. Just tell me what you edited out.”

Glare met stare.

“I do not have all day, Dr. Fill in the fucking blanks.”

Takes glass. Sips water. Another sip.

“VAL!”

“Tyson didn’t screw up. I did not screw up. He was being an ass, as usual.”

Pause.

“Fine. You heard the Banshee call. You heard the escalation. Then the cessation. The console sparked. I woke up on the steps, behind the railing.” Sips. “No, again, I have no idea how I wound up there. The pain in my back, my battered face? Stairs. Boom.”

Stare.

“Why did you break Tyson’s fingers?”

Pause.

“I…”

“Why did you break Tyson’s fingers?”

Pause.

Head turns. Sees FP. Nothing. Still in one piece.

Head still turned away.

“Jackass was reaching to mute. The data coming in and Tyson thought he was going to the mute button. He reached too far. He was going to incinerate the inside of the pod.”

“And?”

“He couldn’t hear me, damnit. He couldn’t hear me call out. I went for his wrist. My eyes were vibrating. Wrist. Hand. Fingers. I needed to stop him. So, I did.””

“And?”

Staring at the Float Pod. Shrugs shoulders.

Heartbeats pass.

“OK.”

Nod of head.

A chukka boot approaches.

Hand taps her shoulder.

“Dr. Marin? I need you to come with me, ma’am.
Her head turns to the other woman.

“Go with him, Valentina. Go. I’ll be with you again. Soon.”

Dr. Valentina Marin leaves what’s left of the lab.

She does not turn to look back.

THIS IS THE DAY Z DOES NOT DIE