MOMENTS
LIQUID TIME
“I don’t think it is possible to contribute to the present moment in any meaningful way while being wholly engulfed by it.” Maria Popova
Z grasps the fringe of Khronos
“Zehara! Nooooooo…”
“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” ~ ~ Albert Einstein
COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED.
THANK YOU.
OR
The A to Z Epics, More or Less
I started Tale Spinning at the beginning of 2011 as an offshoot of BornStoryteller. The latter went more towards non-fiction, rants, comparisons, and observations. Tale Spinning: an experiment in creative writing was the space I needed.
Since then, I’ve gone through periods of both non-stop writing and those “dry” spells, where nothing inspired or motivated me.
Joining the A to Z Blogging Challenge in April 2011 was one of the smartest moves I’ve ever made. I’ve pushed my own boundaries over the ten years, always looking for that “challenge.” Taking risks is stimulating. A lot of what I write is expressing what is burning within me at the moment.
Which is probably why I have trouble continuing plunging into the worlds and characters I’ve built over the years. The roller-coaster upheaval of my life during these last ten years have jaggedly flowed from euphoric to complete and utter numbness. This isn’t a pity party. Just stating the facts, ma’am.
Many bloggers/writers I have “met along the way have become family. What is “Family is Chosen” for $2,000, Alex?” (Man, I miss Alex Trebek. Right now, I am Team Levar Burton to become the new host. Reading Jeopardy Rainbow!). It’d take me the rest of the day (it’s early here) to point you all out, but my thanks and love are hereby sent. I even met the woman I love writing these blog posts during that first A to Z. Present tense, even though we are not together anymore.
Shit happens.
Anyways.
List Time. In case, you know, want to read past (and present) A to Z attempts. Each set starts with A on April 1st of that year. There might be a few preceding posts/teases over the years as I tried out the new voice I was shooting for.
A TO Z POSTS
Here’s something not A to Z that I’d love to get your feedback/comments. I keep getting drawn back to it on an emotional/mental level, but have not added a thing to it in quite a while. These were written during the summer of 2011.
Fuck the city Overblown, hyperactive concrete and stone Greasy street food; greasier people Racing around, step on or over Searching for the bright lights Eclipsed by the shadows To hell with the city Nearly everyone’s oppressed In some misguided way Bend your neck, never knees, As the fight to make it Truth ends in buckets of the kill. Screw the city As it screws with you Power, status, held in slimy claws There’s heartache in the streets Trod upon with running shoes. You deserve what you get Obliterate the city Turn off the lights You can’t see the stars shine Blinded eyes obfuscate Nothing to see here; move along Dwindle yourself; something is wrong. Fuck the city Obsessiveness and greed Hatred and fear Isolated in ignorance Shriek your outrage Bellow your unscripted song.
Everything is darkness.
Raging fires, flaring high above our heads
Distant light snuffed out by the night.
Wounds never heal; we ooze out of ourselves
Stuffing gauze pads, cover with bandages
Not closing, not lessening, never clotting
Infectious nature saturate places uncrossed
There is beauty in moments
When the glare inside is strong
But it fades, it fades
As more darkness surrounds.
For some, existence changes
Opening senses, letting them coexist
Abstract perceiving demands explanations
Or relief.
What should and what should not be
Or, hide from it all
Behind flickering words
On flickering screens
On flickering pen on paper
Being part, while apart
Everything is darkness.
Still, for some
Brightness endures.
The AtoZ is a challenge. I take that seriously. Since 2011, my first foray into this, I have changed gears from year to year. I like stretching beyond my comfort zones. Some of it has been well taken in both Stats and comments. Others, like this year, not so much.
I am pleased with what I chose to do: write 26 Lyrical Poems under the theme title. Write every day in April, except Sundays. I have written poetry before, many well received by the readers. But, I write in that style intermittently.
This was truly a challenging April.
If you’ve followed from April 1st with Awakenings to Zealous O’er the Seas, you’ve experienced my venting, wistfulness, wishing, observations, and anger through my words. Some I rhymed on purpose, some I just let the words loose.
Every single poem was written with a genre of music or musician’s styling playing in my head. I did not intend to appropriate any specific song; it’s the overall mood they convey and are masters of. I’ve written songs before, but I have no knowledge of musical notation and I don’t play a musical instrument. I hear it inside and then turn to someone to collaborate with. From humming it out, setting the beats (as I see them), hearing it played, gets me going. Seeing how the meter is off from one (or many) line(s) starts my rewrite of the lyrics if needed. Tweaking the piece, scrapping whole verses, you know: first to finished draft.
The music that drifted around me as I wrote the poem daily (I don’t pre-write) is varied:
Why Nightmares from an Unbleached Soul? What does that mean, to you? What do you think it means to me? I asked that question near the end of the month and got one response.
Noor Anand Chawla wrote:
I think your title alludes to the fact that you lay yourself and perhaps your worst fears, bare to your audience, through these 26 pieces. “Nightmares” refer to your worst fears, and “unbleached soul” refers to the absence of restraint and being absolutely honest about your feelings.
Perhaps my explanation is too simplistic? What do you think?
Noor pretty much nailed it. I feel that nightmares go beyond our sleep. They are all around us. It could be people, situations, personal fears, perceived fears, and hurt that you feel has been done to you, or that you have done to yourself.
Noor also got the “Unbleached Soul” part. I would add to that when we follow the crowd, stop thinking on our own (or made to stop), refuse to look at things from another angle = Bleached. Soul or Mind: interchangeable.
Overall, I am a non-conformist. I despise the statement “We’ve always done it this way!” For me, there is no box for me to think out of. It’s been imposed on me time and again. Not my thing. I’m creative. I don’t always follow mindless rules, inflexible, with no desire to even listen to a different POV. Sometimes I’ve done that: those are the times I get headaches constantly and down more aspirin than I should.
Try Noor’s blog (link above). I think you’ll enjoy her writing.
I love the AtoZ Blog Challenge. I’ve come across some amazing writers, and many have become online friends. Their pieces are varied from all types of fiction to creative non-fiction to reviews and more. That’s a big part of why I come back.
As I mentioned above, I like a challenge when writing. This gives me that opportunity with the potential to reach well beyond the people who follow me. I’m not hawking for new followers. The performer side of me wants people to want more, for the readers to take what they will from the piece that can touch them &/or make them think.
I am disappointed, again already mentioned, with my stats and comments this year. This was the smallest audience of all my years participating. I went out on a limb, poured a lot of what’s inside of me (as Noor mentioned), and while getting some amazing feedback I wonder what didn’t connect with others. Normally, I’ve had serialized stories that are long in length. I get that. Long posts are sometimes passed over, especially when you are blog hopping.
If I join in again next year, I have a lot of contemplation ahead of me.
Big thanks to Arlee Bird and all the other hosts who worked on this year’s Atoz Blog Challenge. It is obvious how much work they have put in. It shows in many ways.
Big thanks 2, to all of my readers, commenters, and supporters. Too many to name, but know your interaction is priceless.
Stay safe and healthy, everyone.
In a vanilla life Ain't got no wife But there's two many Causing me stress So some rules got broken Rules I never knew And suddenly I'm the enemy Not paranoid 'cause I know it's a vendetta And no, I won't bend down Never will kiss that ass I'd rather kick it hard Just leave me the fuck alone. All high and mighty Gone to whatever mind you have Grab others by their shorties To do your bidding Your lies are killing me. You think you're a mastermind You are so freaking blind Ya Can't see the animosity Seething inside of you It's a call for something But I ain't calling you Go hide behind like you do Just leave me the fuck alone. What started out as two Has turned to many Get your shit together I've reached my limit of Your harassment & spittin' Trying to break my cool Not a fool. Not. A. Fool. It's two bad for you You just had to ignore me Not sic your dogs upon me Worrying at me like a bone You'll be sorry for that Just leave me The fuck Alone! Take this any further You won't like what I got Standing in my corner Time for any peace is gone I'm not Mr Inconsiderate Hell I know I'm not innocent Of ignoring so called authority You have done me wrong I just have no time Absolutely no time No time at all For your shit. Fuck off.
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Well, that was a pleasant little ditty. All warmth and sunshine. Ahhh. Hey, two days of sweet was good. Today’s anger comes for the letter T.
MUSICIANS, or people who know musicians, hear my call
I would love to find someone to collaborate with. Not every one of the 26 Lyrical Poems are winners, and most will need some tweaking. I would just love to hear some, or all of these, put to music.
My theme for this year’s AtoZ Blog Challenge is Nightmare from an Unbleached Soul. 26 Lyrical Poems throughout April, using the letters of the alphabet as our daily jumping off point. If you want to find blogs that match your interests, check out the Master List.
Comments are always welcome. Why you like the work, or don’t, helps me in honing what I love to do.
Thanks for stopping by.
What's the substance of consciousness? The public face that's worn; the other unknown. Locked in & secure is the hypothesis Of surviving another day all alone. The nature of the world that is shown Demanding expectations that aren't you Comes in conflict with your moral tone Become other than yourself, unglued. Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas? What's wrong with you? Chaque jour, vous endommagez votre âme! Every day you damage your soul! Défaillance fabriquée Hors de contrôle. Fabricated failure Is out of control. Aveugle pour le bien intérieur. Blind to the good inside. Pourquoi es-tu ici? Why are you here? Pourquoi? Why? The mind is such a chaotic thing Taking on more as it melts away Dripping out as they pluck your strings Life is a burden on tilted display. Numbness finds it's way into despair. Tightness in the heart beyond belief Finding yourself balancing on a chair Looking for answers, some relief. ¿Qué sucede contigo? What's wrong with you? ¡Cada día dañas tu alma! Every day you damage your soul! La falla fabricada está fuera de control. Fabricated failure Is out of control. Ciego a lo bueno por dentro. Blind to the good inside. ¿Por qué estás aquí? Why are you here? ¿Por qué? Why? [Instrumental] Nani ka mondaidesu ka? What's wrong with you? yeder tog ir shedikn deyn nshmh! Every day you damage your soul! Echèk fabrike Èske soti nan kontwòl. Fabricated failure Is out of control. Cieco per il buono dentro. Blind to the good inside. Limadha 'ant huna? Why are you here? Why? Why? Why?
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Author’s Note:
For those that will ask:
The first chorus is in French.
The second one is in Spanish.
The third section has six languages. In order:
Japanese; Yiddish; Haitian Creole; Italian; Arabic; English.
Yes, I had music in my head as I did for every AtoZ entry.
I hope you liked it/were moved by it.
Comments are always welcome.
Nothing to see here. Mind your mind. Crowds swirl around you Chatter in your face And you know you're not the only one That blindly follows a crooked line. One day you comprehend Your soul feels misaligned Don't let your mind wander so. A constricted life is your place They always screamed NO! Stay in line You're firmly entrenched in their box. You're living with a conflicted soul Looking for a life beyond control Reaching out for what you want A slap on the hand brings you about. Suffocating walls in your dreams Choking out the best of you You struggle to breakout; it's in vain Punished for not following rules Chipping away at what makes you, you You're mashed into a social stew. Everyday feels the same Inane queries come your way Stomach is always tied in knots Your bones are coming all unglued A wicked headache that just won't quit There's a need to run but you're anchored down. You're living with a conflicted soul Looking for a life beyond control Reaching out for what you want A slap on the hand brings you about. You're dying with a conflicted soul Looking for a life of nonconformity Reaching out for what you need A slap on the face brings you about.
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Author’s Note:
A day late, again. Because I write my posts day by day (yes, I don’t rewrite anything to make this easier on me) things can, and do, veer me into anything other than sitting down to write a Lyrical Poem.
Also, this challenge I gave myself is harder than I thought. Lyrical Poetry spurred on by the music in my head and the theme. I will make it, hopefully without any more bumps or snags.
If you are just tuning in, welcome. We’re a tiny bit past the halfway point of the AtoZ Blog Challenge. 26 posts during April, Sundays off for good behavior. We come up with a theme and start on April 1st with the letter “A”. If you care to start from the beginning, click on Awakenings.
There is a wide variety of blogs that you can discover by going to the Master List. I do my darnedest to blog hop every day. Support is a good thing.
I hope you enjoy the theme Nightmares from an Unbleached Soul, which is also today’s “N” spot. Well, technically yesterday’s shouldhavebeen post. I’ll get to “O” a few minutes after posting.
Comments are always welcome.
NIGHTMARES FROM AN UNBLEACHED SOUL
I hold doors for all genders; it's my way
Thinking of others,whatever the day
Please and Thank You are always on cue
You're welcome follows whenever it's due
I'd give up my spot on a crowded bus or a train
But lately from another...no, no. I'll refrain.
It's a blast meeting someone with a pension for being polite
We could play Alfonse and Gaston all through the night
Winding up at a diner at dawn, stifling yawns,
We drained out third cups of joe, out we go
Cracking smiles with late owls and overnight crew
But lately from another...no, no. I'll eschew.
Now don't get me wrong, but some can make me blue
They've opinions that they are entitled to
But confrontations growled right out loud
Behind my back or in front of a crowd
Greed and jealousy are not part of my deck
But lately from another..oh well, what the heck.
Mr. Inconsiderate, without the Mr. is her stance
Facing each other we do an antagonistic dance
Yet she fails in her visions of superiority over me
Now any infractions that she perceives
Is handed to her flunky to handle. It's a crazy scene
But lately from another..oh well, she's just mean.
[The band]
HA YEAH
She's just mean
[sotto voce]
Now you don't have to just take my word
Every encounter has been taped and observed
Big Sister is watching, tries to use this clout
To knock people off kilter, spinning all about
[Loud and call backs]
HEY BIG SISTER
[HEY BIG SISTER]
I SAID HEY BIG SISTER
[HEY BIG SISTER]
MR. INCONSIDERATE WON'T TAKE IT
[HEY, WON'T TAKE IT]
AS TIMOTHY LEARY SAID, OH SO PRECISE
[Oooo Oooo Ooooo]
I'll question your authority
Until you learn to play...
Nice.
[spoken]
Maybe not even then!
Inconsideration is not in my purview
Right now? It's up to you.
Roll the dice.
Ciao!
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“I” had me in a holding pattern for most of the day. Then a style of music, and singer, popped into my head. I’m glad I listen to so many types and genres.
Nightmares From An Unbleached Soul. 26 posts during April, a new Lyrical Poem with every post.
If you’d like to discover new blogs along interests you may have or want to explore, click on The Master List on the AtoZ Blogging Challenge page.
Tale Spinning 