Category Archives: scared

ZENITH/NADIR: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge

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ZENITH/NADIR

LIQUID TIME

“Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realize the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom.” ~ ~ Bertrand Russell

“The Lotus opens. Movement from earth, through water, from fire to air. Out and in beyond life and death now, beyond inner and outer, sense and non-sense, meaning and futility, male and female, being and non-being, Light and darkness, void and full. Beyond all duality, or non-duality, beyond and beyond. Disincarnation. I breathe again.” ~ ~ R. D. LAING

Paris, 16th arrondissement, le restaurant de l’Hôtel sur le toit vide





In every form of communication: “This is a beautiful view. So many beautiful views.”

♁ Ananke is a whisper without sound. She is. (ZV) acknowledges this forever knowledge. They revert to two, standing on a rooftop over Paris, lighting on other vantage points across the universes. They are among the cosmos. Limitless. No boundaries.

There is nothing outside of the box if there is no box to begin with.

Zehara and Valentina are tangible here, as they are elsewhere. Their essences remain connected, corporeal or not. Wrapping arms around the other, foreheads touching, breaths mingling, all lasts infinitely in the fraction of that second. They know the “why here?” before the question forms between them.

“This is where we first met,” they absorb the words in unison. Ananke, Necessitas, Ge, the Mother, allows the countless stars to lighten the darkness.

“As it was meant” fills any void.

The rooftop unfolds as it was: café tables, the mosaic tops iridescent waves of hues of blues and golds balanced on wrought iron Art Deco curlicues, red leather chair seating at the tables and for the chaise lounge settees. Gold thread embroidery traversed the fabric. Fine crystal flutes at the ready filled with sparkling champagne of prime vintage. Vegetarian Aperitifs strategically placed, the colors complimenting one dish to another.

Valentina.

Valentina was the guest of honor at this soiree, lauded for her breakthroughs in Biogenetic  Engineering. Every government wanted her. She forced a laugh at every bon mot, listened to and fobbed off the enticements, both scientific and sexual, and was thoroughly bored. Funding was a core ingredient to continue her work. Valentina was tired of being brought out as a gift to be bid on. Exquisite as the champagne was, she only sipped the first hour of the evening away, looking for an opportunity to leave. A spilled drink near her, the endless apologies, cleaning of the stain on her dress that was invented, was her chance. Her chance.

Zehara.

She came late, her entrance marked by the flurry of paparazzi yelling her name, the model of the moment. Zehara was weary of this game, being seen to be seen. She accepted the invitation only with the caveat that this would truly be a closed affair. Champagne in had, Zehara ditched the executive she arrived with, wandering the roof, taking in the panoramic view of Paris. She allowed herself to slink into the shadows, loving the absence of demands. Another was the center of attention. Zehara relished that, for once. But not for long. She grew deathly bored.

Zehara, full glass in hand, was making her way to exit the engagement. In her path was the honoree, surrounded by a pack waiting to eat their way in. She hadn’t paid Valentina much attention, but now. Everything changed for her. The attraction was magnified beyond anything Zehara had experienced before. One step, and Zehara faltered. Valentina took notice. She was in the process of taking in the wonder of Zehara, a rush of empty lust washing away her normal reticent ways, when the champagne made a splash.

They ignored the chaos, walking as far away from the clashing as they could. As they made their way to the roof’s railings, their hands found the others’. A now empty settee caught their eyes. Zehara broke hands, sped to the seating, and turned it so that Paris was fully before them. Hunkering down on the settee, doing their best not to be seen and interrupted, Valentina and Zehara began.

“This is an appreciation, a thank you,” a vibrato from Ananke, primordial personification of compulsion.

(ZV) held themselves tightly. Turning to the manifestation of The Mother

TRANSITION

IS

Time continues to scream

Time continues its fragmented shrinkage

♁ Ananke Is

A wavering, touch like, and Time is stilled

(ZV) is in attendance

Another entity as well

Ananke

Khronos

Time holds them all

Life is sustaining

A mewl of confusion weighs heavy

Something new, for the constant Time

♁  Subvocalizes

we were
ONE
Khronos. Ananke.
progenitors at creation
that had existed, is existing, will exist
we emerged self-born
formed the ordered universe(s)
set in our tasks
of Time
of Life
of being the cosmos

Yet
a divergence
an expenditure of Chaos
a swelling of Entropy
an order corrupted
the continuum of Time 
became a corruption of Time

destruction amplified
erosion amplified
deaths deaths deaths
fell before their
time

this was Ragnarok 
which never was to be gained
the final destruction
was upon ALL
my worlds
my creatures
my planes of existence
I

separate entities
Khronos applied Death
at a rate I could not change
we were in balance
were suppose to be balanced
existed for balance
I was not enough







JANICULUM

“We were created. Z in the Pod. V at control”

Statement

“Yes”

“You mixed with the extreme radiation. A fusion of Life”

“Yes”

“From our meeting?”

“From the first seeds of unbalance”

“To disrupt Time”

“Yes”

“To weaken Time. To permeate Time. To bring Life into Time’s equation.”

“Yes”

“And to bring and emotional sequence that Time never held”

Silence

“Truth: were we ever really in love?”

“Yes”

Quiet is sustained.

The other is still there but not noticed.

“What of you, Gaia? Are you unbalanced? Have you undergone a parallel disrupture?”

Silence

“If we are a counter point for Khronos…we are, yes?”

“Yes”

“What is yours?”

Into the void, the other makes themselves noticed.

Silent Khronos extends to (ZV)

“They are my balance beyond Khronos. You are Time’s balance beyond Ananke.”

(ZV) sees the other.

Ἀστερία. Karen. Good. Chaos.”

“Yes”

“They are in pain. They are in contradiction.”

“As you fused. Yes.”

(ZV) understands.

CONNECTIONS

♁ Ananke IS

Everywhere

Khronos IS

Everywhen

(KA)

Finds their way

(ZV)

ARE

EPILOGUE ON SATURDAY, MAY 1ST, 2021

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED

YIM: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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A to Z Blogging Challenge

YIM

LIQUID TIME

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” ~ ~ William Penn

connects/bonds/merges/binds/agglutinates/joins/coalesces/connected

(ZV) adjusted the continuum of time by integrating spatial dimensions with the astral and ethereal planes. The system, in entirety, becomes changeless through the dramatic metamorphic change. There is no progression of time. Everything is Timeless. Khronos is frozen in Time. (ZV) is stuck, not frozen.

This is not a chance happening, an accident, kismet. (ZV) has gained: this has been a plan. The thought of it being of divine design is not sufficient. It had earthly intention meaning that is meaningless for them. They gave it credit as a thought experiment, dismissed it, letting it fade away. Stuck, they demanded accountability.

Their thinking of convergence began when Zehara, in her mind, liberated Valentina; Valentina held onto the concept of abduction. It had not begun at that point. In this static dimension of all reality, the realization of their connection(s) expanded. Without limits, for they now understood that Limit was another bespoke label. It was a coping strategy employed by all sentiments at whatever level of being the concept of Limit was conceived.

The Infinite. A label, yet one that was the existence. (ZV)’s paradigm of being changes.

If Time is unchanging, if it just Is, then what becomes of Time? Z crows that Time is dead. V reputes that; even if the progression of time stops here, now, it still remains in what came before. The push/pull of their separate hypothesis is contained; thought transcends, but they don’t question it.

Until they do. Why/how is there a movement in the thought process as they are incorporeal? How is Khronos? Z thinks of circles. V envisions infinity. Symbols are meaningless.

Time is meaningless?

Khronos fragments.

V supposes that Time is illogical if it does not fit the restricted theorem. If there is no end, no beginning, Time is then infinite, and with Infinity there is no need for time. K’s circle is a closed unit. It, too, deletes the thought of beginnings and ends. If the circle is pure, uniform, unbroken, it can stop or start. Anywhere. It doesn’t need time to consume itself.

The fragments of Time do not fit. Time has not been linear nor circular. Khronos imposed junctures and splits, uncircular paths, a transmogrification of the superlunary powers fundamental to Time’s being time.

The fragments of Khronos shrink.

Time screams.

(KV) takes notice.

♁ Ananke

SHE

THIS

(☿++☾+ +♃+♄+♅+♆+♇+☼)+∞³⋝ω

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME

XAIN: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

XAIN

LIQUID TIME

“Time is a feature of creation, and the creator remains apart from it, transcendent over it.” ~ ~ James Gleick

EVERYWHEN

Ananke

Is witness to all beginnings; to all ends.

The End of All Things rips apart the progenitor with every erasure.

Erasures are Endless.

Endless.

There is nothing to measure.

It is or it is not.

Everything Is.

(☿+♀+☾+♂+♃+♄+♅+♆+♇+☼)+∞³⋝ω

Khronos is a part of the process, as is

Ananke

They were

♁ ⋝ t (⨍⨳⊎∞) =⨿

Khronos upset the balance

The Screams Must Stop

JANICULUM

(ZV) feels the sacred knife from their temple slice into the ethereal-corporal sync they have manifested. They feel a rift, a change, yet pain is of the past, not the present. What comes can not be seen from here. They have been severed from an aspect of themselves that has left the feeling of <.

Only for that time of piercing

A great severing occurred.

They experience the force within them ascend to a higher intensity

What was a standstill finds Khronos waver

Wavered

Khronos meets level meeting level

Balance happens

Khronos identifies the truth

(ZV) shares the truth

Awareness that the blade Ἀστερία bore sliced through the other

Ἀστερία‘s discorporation fused with her screams

A union of screams merged with Ἀστερία‘s

(ZV) + Khronos took notice

SHE is

LAB

FLOAT POD

CONNECTS

  • VALENTINA AND ZEHARA
    • Were profoundly in love
    • Each were admired
    • One for high status in the scientific world
    • One for great physical beauty
    • It went to their egos
    • It split them apart
    • The hurt went both ways
  • Valentina found backing for her project
    • Science + Transcendentalism
    • Taking the mind to next levels
    • Valentina threw herself all in
  • Zehara suffered and drifted
    • Hurt, alone, falling into the darkest shadows
    • Tried to commit suicide on Government land
    • Valentina’s lab was housed there
    • Recovering, an offer came
    • She took it
  • Karen
    • Jealousy ruled her ego
    • She easily acquiesced to Government intrusion
      • Valentina did not know
      • Z did not know
    • Another intruded with a thought of a touch
  • The Float Pod
    • Z vanished
    • V vanished
    • The Lab, the Float Pod, the Screams
  • K was noticed
  • elsEwhens
    • (ZV)
    • Khronos
    • Ἀστερία
    • Ananke
    • Everywhen/where/what/who

THIS IS

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME

QUAIL, IN‽ : Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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QUAIL, IN‽

LIQUID TIME

Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.” ~ ~ Rose Kennedy

(ZV) withered

(Compositions + Substance) Bond

Broke

A rupture

Null unit { }

Z

V

Unjoined

The moment slipped out of their control





elsEwhen Z

anger anguish escalate/s/d to nth level extremes bringing a mind blankness overruled by the raging mixture of emotions Z had no awareness of the deaths the sundering caused in Z’s wake diseases transferred at rates unimaginable when all Z was brought to islands of quiet of peace of centering only to be jaunted into the swirls of destructive force to return to peace to seek out violence to destroy to quiet to all things detrimental all until Z challenged Khronos who slapped Z down rejected rejected snubbed erased until





elsEwhen V
V filtered through equations, all equations
Dispelling the soul freezing zemblanity
That washed over and through V
To return to equations, formulas,
Routine
While suffering this travesty of moments
That soothed, touched, cherished, ached
That itched, burned, chilled, ached
In a melody of high bliss
Counterbalanced by exquisite agony
An emotional/pragmatic overload
Where it all led to Khronos
Who had no sense of V
Draining V
until

JANICULUM CALLED TO THEM

PERIODS: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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PERIODS

LIQUID TIME

“We should always allow some time to elapse, for time discloses the truth.” ~ ~ Seneca

elsEwhens upon elsEwhens

Where is a place/time/moment for the deep discussions for (ZV)

Who don’t need to discuss anything

Who know everything

There are no secrets

There can be no alteration of the past or future of the now

Paths taken, thought, thought into actions, one action where all are

Experienced, tasted, seen, felt, heard, thought

Concomitantly

All periods of anguish runs alongside the history they

Have shared/share

you knew what she was doing to me

no no 
I  I 


yes


(ZV) hurtles through all lives
minute degrees
from start to end 
periods
past
the ones that may/will occur
oblivion

(ZV) is volatile as one
hatred or loved
explosive or calm
connected or pushed away
it is rarely and
Or rules (ZV)
a gamut of conditions, places, beings

(ZV) an inner transition
they smash their own atoms

there is a fissure
a departure
Z sets forth
V stumbles away
they are separate for eons
that took a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a...

it did not last long
it lasted an eternity

No, I didn’t forget to write yesterday. I did write.

What you read above was not what I originally wrote.

That’s gone.

I needed some space.

There’ll be Q posting a little later today

Hopefully back on track

So close to the end.

Never give up

Never surrender

MOMENTS: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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MOMENTS

LIQUID TIME

I don’t think it is possible to contribute to the present moment in any meaningful way while being wholly engulfed by it.” Maria Popova

elsEwhen ∞

the Doomsday Clock at 100 seconds to midnight

TRANSITION

Z grasps the fringe of Khronos

“Zehara! Nooooooo…”

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” ~ ~ Albert Einstein

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED.

THANK YOU.

LINEAR TURMOIL: Liquid Time A to Z Blogging Challenge 2021

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LINEAR TURMOIL

LIQUID TIME

“Every second is of infinite value.” ~ ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe





(ZV)

Nomad(s) of Infinitum.

Transient(s) of the spatial dimensions

They absorb the Tenth Dimension.

A single point.

All possibilities.

Branches of every potential universe.

(ZV) savors Apeiron

Yet the thought along the line:

Definite or Incomplete?

TRANSITION

Z will enter/has entered/never be in the Float Pod

Valentina refused/refuses/never enters the Lab

Z will take/is taking/remembers IVs of Modifal-70 from 200 mg to the final dosing of 1000 mg.

Five sessions in a row.

Z will undergo/undergoes/will have gone through rounds of gene and body modifications.

Valentina would/will/has regret(s) supervising the procedure(s).

Things lost control.

Things were never in control.

TRANSITION

volcanic eruptions stardust shattered dreams rising falling waves of despair love hatred denial no know known believe belief rituals symbolic pedestal entombed buried airless space time khronos forget forgot lost unclear foggy rain downpour floods levees dams bursting opening hallway echo repeat again again again

TRANSITION

The Lab

Float Pod Conn

Dr. Karen Capri has upper management up her ass. She has been bombarded with questions, demands, threats, quasi-pleading, and distaste. The lab’s repair costs. The dead technician. The disappearance of Subject Z and Dr. Marin. The “Why don’t you have an answer for us, Dr. Capri?” in its non-stop versions.

The last two nights Karen had fallen back on old ways through medical schooling. Adderall to Methamphetamine to blow. Non-stop stimulants, pushing herself to find the answers-any answer-that would relieve the attacks on her competency. There was no way she would allow them to take the yoke of blame on all of this, to become their scapegoat, their sacrificial lamb, the one to crucify.

Three days, high on uppers.

Something had to break.

The console screamed.

Karen raced to shut off the speakers, cursing the entire way from her office.

She did not make it to the Lab.

(ZV) was floating in her way.

TALES OF TALE SPINNING

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©Edward Gorey

TALES OF TALE SPINNING

OR

The A to Z Epics, More or Less

I started Tale Spinning at the beginning of 2011 as an offshoot of BornStoryteller. The latter went more towards non-fiction, rants, comparisons, and observations. Tale Spinning: an experiment in creative writing was the space I needed.
Since then, I’ve gone through periods of both non-stop writing and those “dry” spells, where nothing inspired or motivated me.

Joining the A to Z Blogging Challenge in April 2011 was one of the smartest moves I’ve ever made. I’ve pushed my own boundaries over the ten years, always looking for that “challenge.” Taking risks is stimulating. A lot of what I write is expressing what is burning within me at the moment.

Which is probably why I have trouble continuing plunging into the worlds and characters I’ve built over the years. The roller-coaster upheaval of my life during these last ten years have jaggedly flowed from euphoric to complete and utter numbness. This isn’t a pity party. Just stating the facts, ma’am.

Many bloggers/writers I have “met along the way have become family. What is “Family is Chosen” for $2,000, Alex?” (Man, I miss Alex Trebek. Right now, I am Team Levar Burton to become the new host. Reading Jeopardy Rainbow!). It’d take me the rest of the day (it’s early here) to point you all out, but my thanks and love are hereby sent. I even met the woman I love writing these blog posts during that first A to Z. Present tense, even though we are not together anymore.

Shit happens.

Anyways.

List Time. In case, you know, want to read past (and present) A to Z attempts. Each set starts with A on April 1st of that year. There might be a few preceding posts/teases over the years as I tried out the new voice I was shooting for.

A TO Z POSTS

Here’s something not A to Z that I’d love to get your feedback/comments. I keep getting drawn back to it on an emotional/mental level, but have not added a thing to it in quite a while. These were written during the summer of 2011.

The Kitsune-Mochi and Fox Saga

INTERVAL: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge 2021

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INTERVAL

Liquid Time

A to Z Blog Challenge

“Time is the fire in which we burn.” ~ ~ Gene Roddenberry

In between ‘It was…,

and moments before Z popped up.

Valentina + Void = inner jabbering.

Val’s short, shallow breathing climbed expositionally

with the beating pulsations of her heart.

98.8° F (37.1° C) ratcheted to (180°F − 32) × 5/9 = 82.222°C.

Nerves destroyed. Pain<3rd° burns.

Val is charred to basics.

Her chest continued to tighten and contort.

Guts flipped flopped non-stop.

Her mind pinballed.

Valentina’s body became its own Tower of Babel.

And ‘…too much’

Z’s appearance was announced by a pin-point of light.

Z was. Here. There.

Val’s extremes halted to numbness.

Vacant.

Sweat encased her.

She couldn’t move nor speak.

Spitting was out of the question.

She could not do anything of a physical nature.

Z, from There:

“Hello, Valentina.”

Val felt the words enter, not aural vibrations but cerebral contact.

Her head would have snapped back if it could have moved. She lost consciousness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Val came back.

“I’m sorry, Valentina. Guess I don’t know my own strength.”

Z attempted to smile. Val knew the referencing Z was making. She was not amused.

She let Z know that.

“I thought it…Never mind.

Pause

Yes, I know I always...

Pause

Valentina, those language concepts mean nothing, never will mean anything. They have.”

Z halved the distance between them.

“Why?

Please.

What did you promise me?

What did you promise me between kisses, between acts of loves and fucks.

The truth is: I took you in, full trust, full vulnerability.

That you wavered? That you lied to yourself?

I loved you I loved you I loved you!

I love you.

Now, and whatever forever means.

That is why.

Here.

We are here.

Pause

No!

I’ve thrown off Zehara.

I was not a star.

I offered no radiance.

Zehara…she is the past.

It is time to uphold promises.”

Z was there.

Face to face with Valentina.

To Val.

To V.

Z brushed her lips over V’s.

TRANSITION

End of Arc One

Arc Two of Liquid Time begins Monday, April 12, 2021.

Stay Safe and Healthy

Comments are always welcome.

FLEETING: Liquid Time A to Z Blog Challenge April 2021

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FLEETING

Liquid Time

A to Z Blog Challenge

“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” ~ ~ Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Zero hour. Day. Era. Epoch. Eon. Aeon.

Z subdivides along a non-unilinear line. Stopping milliseconds to absorb, dispel, bask.

Those are the fragments where a thought filters through.

Z assembles the pieces. Z experiences every emotional spectrum idea, searching for

Love.

Z does not believe in love. Love, to Z, equates to Pain.

Pain is a constant. Love=Pain never has/is/will be love ≠ pain. It is exact. For Z, it is exact.

There are no approximates.

Any/every instance Love touches Z is followed by an infinite drop.

Z is lost.

Inside, Z is lost in gathering specifics. The pure, unwavering distillation of Z’s perception of Love.

The amassing is complete.

Z stretches the limits of time to compact and keep.

The next second arrives.

Without the pain association. Z is blocking out the aftermath, the thrown away aspect, the being left, unnoticed, unwanted.

Another point arrives. The whole splinters.

Z

TRANSISTION

NEW!!!! TALE SPINNING is also a Podcast!

I plan to start recording MY reading of my posts. Maybe by 5/12/2021. Knowing me, maybe 2022. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the narration.

You can find Tale Spinning on:

Spotify iTunes PocketCasts Breaker Google Podcasts RadioPodcast (last two awaiting verification).

Tale Spinning, the Podcast, will include past series, interviews, and more.

Please Support Tale Spinning.

You can subscribe on any of the above platforms.

Comments are always welcome.