Jul25

A Night Without: #FridayFictioneers

Posted on by
Standard

ted-strutzs-town

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

A Night Without

The lights drew them on.

From bars to clubs to private parties, the three had been on the go since sundown. The long night brought pleasure, debauchery, and fear. The three thrived through all of it.

Pre-dawn left the streets barren in front of them, wasteland behind them.

It had been a good night. They just wanted to make it last as long as they could. It was in their nature, and it was a shared revelry.

Still craving more, they searched for new pleasures. The lights attracted them. Then the laughter and music.

Their night would end, well sated.

**************************************************
Author’s Notes: (Edited)

Hi. I was going for subtle, and I probably went way too far. Only a few picked up on the key words: “the long night brought pleasure, debauchary, and FEAR.”; the streets behind them were a “wasteland.”; their night would end with them being “sated.”

To me, I tried to say “Danger” without saying “Vampires.” Lesson learned: too subtle doesn’t work.

As to the title A Night Without, I went for the symbolism of Night. From Sparknotes:

God’s first act is to create light and dispel this darkness. Darkness and night therefore symbolize a world without God’s presence. In Night, Wiesel exploits this allusion. Night always occurs when suffering is worst, and its presence reflects Eliezer’s belief that he lives in a world without God.

So, A Night Without is a night without God. Probably should have just put the word in. Again, live and learn.

*****************************

It’s #Friday Fictioneers prompt time, as always created and hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields on her blog, Addicted To Purple.

The rules are simple if you’d like to do this:

    1. Use the photo on Addicted to Purple as your prompt (goes up on Wednesday).
    2. Write a 100 word story, complete with beginning, middle, and end.
    3. Make every word count.
    4. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor of the photo credit.
  2. Add the InLinkz button (below) so your readers can find the dozens of other bloggers who have taken up this challenge.

42 responses »

    • It wasn’t the night that was sated, they were sated. Alas, I was too subtle. If you care to, please read the edited “Author’s Note” just under the story. Thanks. I like being sneaky.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  8. The vampires went over my head. It seemed as if they would try every indulgence on the list. But there was a tone of something darker in this line that didn’t leave me alone, “Pre-dawn left the streets barren in front of them, wasteland behind them”.

    Like

    Reply ↓

  11. Well, I caught the references to fear and wasteland, and wondered what particularly wicked pleasures they’d been ‘enjoying’, but vampires didn’t cross my mind – but then, I don’t read vampire fiction; I thought more along the lines of shapeshifting aliens (‘cos I read science fiction occasionally). I think, actually, you come close to making subtle work for you. A small reference to outsized canine teeth should do it…

    Like

    Reply ↓

  13. I totally missed Vampires till I read your note. Maybe “searched for new pleasures” can become “searched for new victims”. That might give it more bite 😉

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Thanks. Yeah, I see I needed one more sentence of semi-clarification. Something along the lines of “They wiped the remnants of blood off their lips as they advanced on their next meal.” or something like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  18. I did pick up on some of your clues, but since I’m not into the whole vampire craze, I didn’t realize exactly where you were taking us until the very end. I think this would perhaps be a good opening for a longer story that reveals this trio for what they are.

    Like

    Reply ↓

Leave a comment